Am I Not Pretty Enough

I am not into Music.  Actually I wouldn’t know a song on the radio and who was singing unless you told me! Yet I remember Songs that are written from the heart and then I go and find out who the singer is. The Artist Kasey Cambers wrote a song {ages ago} called “Am I Not Pretty Enough”.  I still remember the first time I ever heard that song.

And I remember thinking “Why is Kasey singing such a beautiful song with such heart thinking words when she is so gorgeous“.

Maybe this song is not about her NOT being Pretty. Maybe its about someone she knows? I am not sure about the story behind the words, maybe one day I will get a chance to meet Kasey and ask her personally?

But for me the song has a lot of meaning. I think about those words a LOT.

Am I not pretty enough
Is my heart to broken
Do I cry too much
Am I too outspoken
Don’t I make you laugh
Should I try it harder
Why do you see right through me

Those words mean a lot

When you look at the words you could ask a lot of questions. And it does. For me. I ask and I think, maybe way too much.

You see I care with heart on my sleeve. Wished I didn’t. Wished I could hide my feelings better.

And sometimes I do hide. That is behind a smile. But really my health is a tell-tell sign when something is not right within.

The other day I got a personal message asking me a question. About New Life on the Road blog.

And it cut deep…..it wasn’t the person fault that it hurt me. It was my own thoughts that started to play around that hurt me. So the person who asked the question is not to blame – they were only curious. But it has got me to this song again.

Am I Too Outspoken?

Maybe.

Should I try it Harder?

Yes. I should be focusing on what makes me happy.

Don’t I Make you Laugh?

Not sure – but I do hope so with some of our crazy going on’s in our Motorhome! {Have you seen that one about us trying to get to the Sunshine Coast From Bundaberg. A trip that is only supposed to take a few hours and yet took a few days!!)

Is My Heart Too Broken?

Can’t answer that one cause I haven’t ever thought about my heart being broken? Maybe my dreams are broken?

Do I Cry Too Much?

Yeah probably but sometimes those tears are from happiness so that’s a good thing hey?

Am I Not Pretty Enough.

Now that one is hard. That one gets in the way….it used to be a question I asked for many years of being a Mum….am I not pretty enough to have baby girls? But that doesn’t make sense….its just what it is. A question that I ask on many levels for many aspects of my life.

Sick.

So this last two weeks I have been really unwell. I am dealing with it through natural means {garlic, honey, lemon, cinnamon and onions}

I have had my tonsils out but that does not stop one from getting tonsillitis!!! Yeah apparently even with tonsils gone you can still get the infection. Waste of money getting them taken out if you ask me.

But the real reason behind my infection?

Its not my body letting me down, its me letting me down. I started a Chinese Massage Course online that I thought I would be able to fit in and around my family.

And I can, if I wanted to. But that’s just it. I want to learn to massage, but I am not interested in the Chinese History side of the course. I am not interested in the Counselling side of the course. I am not interested in doing role playing. And the information is flowing right over my head.

I live, I breathe, I let it rain on me
I sleep, I wake, I try hard not to break
I crave, I love, I’ve waited long enough
I try as hard as I can

Guess I will be searching deep to find my answer?

Cause all I keep thinking about is “Am I Not Pretty Enough” song.

Until then take care of you ~

You Are So Worthy Of All Your Dreams Coming True.

And be true to yourself.

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I am not going to be pleasing anyone anymore. Its not healthy. So maybe I will do the course, maybe I won’t. But at the end of the day I NEED to do what is right for me.  I want to study…..yet I don’t think  its my time. I need to find my happiness.

Do You Listen To Words of Songs?

Thanking you for following our Journey.

Cheers

Lisa

New Life on the Road.

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7 thoughts on “Am I Not Pretty Enough

  • May 22, 2013 at 12:22 pm
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    I was listening to the radio one day (or T.V.) and heard that Kasey wrote this song about her trying get her music played and appreciated.
    Whether that is true or not, you must believe that you are a beautiful person who definitely deserves to have a daughter. Maybe another sort of massage without history lessons attached would be good for you. Maybe actual lessons alongside a Thai or Vietnamese masseuse. You could be an apprentice of sorts?
    budget jan recently posted..Tuesday in Townsville When it rains at the beach

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    • May 26, 2013 at 7:56 pm
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      Hi Jan,

      You are so wise, and so wonderful with your words of support.

      I like your idea of learning massage next to someone, alongside learning as I go.

      I think at the moment I need to find my inner happiness…its a journey I am about to go on 🙂

      Reply
    • May 26, 2013 at 7:57 pm
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      Very true – life is about living true to oneself and there is no point to life unless one is happy – Thanks Caz for your support xxx

      Reply
  • May 25, 2013 at 8:52 pm
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    hi Lisa, thanks for sharing. kasey wrote another song years later, called ‘ little bird’ And its about how she grew up and moved on and became no longer prepared to be a pleaser or care too much about other peoples silly expectations. Its like ‘am i not pretty enough’ is the before and ‘lttle bird’ is the after.
    i think you’d like it…
    Jill recently posted..Crossing the Nullarbor

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    • May 26, 2013 at 7:46 pm
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      Thanks Jill – I am off to YouTube to check out the song 🙂 Reckon it will be perfect!

      Reply

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