This is a blog post that is straight from the heart. Its a subject that is very new to me, and one that is too so testing my skills on how to be a parent, on how to be a Mum without over stepping the boundaries.
I am trying so hard to stay focused on the outcome, and to follow my gut instinct but at the same time I want to wrap my boys up in my arms and never let them go. So when is the best time for Letting Go Of Your Children, and when is it the best time to keep them where we know its safe?
Letting Go Of Your Children
My oldest is 17, and legally he is able to leave home and live on his own. But legally doesn’t cut it with me. As far as I am concerned he was inside of me for nine months, I birthed him for 24 hours and I had to fight to keep him alive for the first 12 months of his life.
He was born in June 17 years ago, yet it only feels like yesterday. I can remember holding him for the first time – straight after he was born, and I was crying so many tears of happiness that he was here and so perfect. He had five fingers on each hand, and five toes on each foot. He weighed a healthy 8 Ibs 15 oz, and he had the blackest hair I had ever seen. It was so thick and so dark. He was here, he was perfect and he was so loved.
When Is The Right Time To Let Them Fly?
On day five we were sent home from hospital. I was so over the moon – we were going to start our life as a family! I was putting clothes away when I felt something wasn’t right. I quickly turned around and realised that he wasn’t breathing.
He was so still, and he was so blue. I picked him up and I started to panic. I knew that this situation wasn’t right. I called for help from my family who I was living with, and the ambulance was called.
This was the beginning of a trip back and forwards many times, as the hospital could not pick up anything wrong. The last time was a trip into the children’s hospital, where it was confirmed that he had sleep Apnoea.
A machine was organised and we were sent home, after we were all shown how to preform CPR. Soon it was our routine, and we lived happily….each night the machine would sound an alarm and we would have to jump up and wake him up!
Fast Forward To Now!
So lately I have being trying hard to let him make his own decisions. After all he is 17, and is taller than me, and has grown in many ways. His long life dream is to be in the navy….one which I was happy to support, but I wanted to wait till he was 18.
He has never wanted to travel with us around Australia, and has shared those views a many time! This lead me to realise that he would be happier following his passion, and his dream of being in the navy.
He has done Army Cadets for years, and has worked his way up the ranks. He actually does really well with a controlled environment, and thrives on team work. The last few months have been very testing for me as a parent and a Mum – do I let him go from home and find his way with the Navy or do I ask him to wait?
When is the right age for Letting Go Of Your Children?
To be honest I am not sure if there is a right age….do my children let me know when its time to let them fly? Or do I trust what my heart is telling me, and ask them to wait?
I so wish there was a magic ball that let me see into the future and know that he is going to be OK! I actually had trouble with writing this, and for the first time in three years I did not want to blog yesterday!
You see he has spent the last two weeks at a friends house (various friends from school/old area where we lived). One of those friends (or maybe a few of them!) have had a few words to him, and have talked him out of joining the navy. Which is not the issue at hand. They have talked him into moving out of home, and moving in with their family. So that he can finish off his schooling, and work part time in the job that he used to work at.
What Will Happen Next?
Some of you may be wondering what all the fuss is about….its about what is right for him, and what I think he needs for development! Should I be Letting Go Of My Children and letting them make his own way in the world?
Or should I hope, and pray that its just a little bit of cold feet (joining the navy) and a bit of the “Holiday Cheer” getting to him? I know what my heart is saying, and I know what I want to do…..I want to shout from the roof tops – NO you are too young to be living out of home…..but how silly does that sound when he is wanting to go into the navy!!
Is it a matter of pride? Or is it a matter of wanting a better future for him….much better than I ever started with?
What are your thoughts about Letting Go Of Your Children? Last night my heart was torn in two! Today when he gets home, I am praying that Dave can talk to him at a local coffee place, so that we can all decide on what is best!
New Life on the Road
*update* Linking up with With Some Grace for FYBF Happy Flogiversary