I have been trying to work out my parenting style for some time. Some days I am really laid back and relaxed. Other days I worry about the most stupidiest little things!
Mother Of All Guilt Trips
Yesterday Kyle had a pair of kids scissors outside of the Motorhome. Even though I try to make sure that he only uses the inside while I am watching, he somehow got them outside.
We have never had issues with any of our boys with cutting things. But Kyle has cut so much over the years with Scissors – Doona Covers, Curtains, Clothes, his hair, Tail from a Rocking Horse, his shoe laces…you name it he has cut it! Basically anything that is not paper he will cut.
Cutting More Again
Once he took them outside I was un-aware with what he was doing with them. Zachery walked in yesterday with this Statement….
“Kyle cuts his friends finger with Scissors” and then walks back out again!
Me (Following Zachery):- “What do you mean?”
Zachery “Dont know, just know that he has cut his friends finger”
So I am outside and call Kyle over
Me:- “Kyle, did you cut your friends finger? Where are the scissors?”
Kyle:- “Yes but it was an accident”
Then I bring him into the bus for time out. It seems that Kyle and his friend where fighting over the Scissors – Kyle had them in his hand, and they were open. Kyle pulled back while his friend grabbed them. It was only an accident, but I still said that he had to have time out.
After he had a shower to clean off all of the mud, and he stopped crying, he sat on his bed with art n craft supplies.
Then he comes on over and gives me this……
Kyle Made This Love Heart Yesterday!
How cute is he 🙂
Yeah he is good at wrapping me around his little finger.
He even then tells me “I made it for you Mummy because I love you” OH. MY. Mother of all Guilt Trips yep!
Today he was inside for Homeschooling work. From this morning to now! YES all day – he has been trying to do anything and everything to not do any homeschooling work.
Our Idea of homeschooling (actually it my idea, David thinks Differently) – We don’t make them do any work, we let them decide which books to do.
He has not wanted to do any at all.
Then I over hear him talking to his brothers.
Kyle “If I make another Love Heart like I did yesterday then I can get out of the bus” – oh he has me worked out…and he is only six years old!!
Which has got me to thinking. I am not sure what my parenting style is anymore. I feel like I am more lay backed then I used to be, but not sure if I am into the 100% of Free Parenting. I do know that David and I think about certain issues differently with our boys and do things differently. Which is not either a good thing or a bad thing – we are different people and thats all there is to it.
He is a bit more along the lines of “They should do as they are told, and listen to what I am saying the first time” Where I am more into listening to their side of things a bit more, and into letting them decide a bit more about what they want to do. I guess I should start looking at a book to see what style of parenting I am more interested in.
Be great if you could recommend any good books?
Mother Of All Guilt Trips – What Makes You Feel Guilty?
Cheers
Lisa
Um, you should definitely read French Children Don’t Throw Food…. and my friend Cecily at cecilypaterson.squarespace.com has also got some great thoughts on schooling, unschooling, homeschooling and parenting and could probably recommend you some good books.
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Oh that sounds so good! I love reading and exploring more about different styles of parenting and homeschooling/unschooling!
Off to check out your link for Cecily.
Cheers
Lisa
As Tania said, only you can decide what works best for your family. I think children come into this world a blank canvas and its up to us to teach them what is right and wrong and how to behave. I believe they need to be guided until they are old enough and have enough experience in the world to make their own decisions. I think your boys are well mannered and well behaved so you must be doing ok Lisa. That is so cute that Kyle made you the heart – he certainly knows how to pull your heart strings.
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Hi Jackie,
Kyle sure has all of us worked out!! He is so cute – and he sure knows it 🙂
I have been exploring my parenting style for some time, and its for ever changing.
Cheers
Lisa
Hi Lisa, only you can decide what type of parenting works for you and your kids. I think have a look around, ask other friends who are living on the road and see what works for them and what doesn’t.
Take all the best ideas that suit how you and David think and there you go, your own style of parenting organised
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Hi Tania,
Thanking you for the great tip on what parenting style suits us best! Funny how much I have changed over the years – sure a lot more relaxed compared to when I started out parenting!
Cheers
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
Great story and thanks for sharing what parenting is really like. I raised my kids using Dr Louise Porter’s (Australian author) approach – “children are people too” which is a guidance approach. Another great book I used was “How to raise an emotionally intelligent child”. I really do think that using these styles of parenting has made a difference to the lives on my children. Even so, there are times when we are all challenged and I now there are still many times like those ahead. What also helps is any of Eckhart Tolle’s work. As we witness our own behaviour we can also witness the behaviour of others and see beyond it to the being.
Stay well! Eileen.
Hi Eileen,
Great tips – and its so true..what we do does reflect on our childrens way of life.
So many times I can hear myself say things that my Mum used to say and I have to stop myself!
Now I can see/hear our boys talk like there Dad!
Sounds like you have a great parenting style, and have read some fantastic books. Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Lisa
I might be wrong but I don’t think you can get parenting out of a book. I think it is all about trial and error and what works for you and your children. Hearing about Kyle and how he likes to cut everything with scissors. It is so funny and cute and children do know how to get around your little finger.
Hi Kerry,
Its so true – parenting is about trial and error and working out what is suitable for our family and what is not suitable 😉
Books help but at the end of the day is a personal choice of what style to use for each of our children. Everyone is different and I guess I am changing the way that I think so my parenting style is changing as well 🙂
Yeah Kyle is too cute!
Cheers
Lisa
I read the Children are People too and really couldn’t recommend it highly enough. It’s a great book with some really great ideas and techniques. For the most part though- I take bits from here and there and moosh them all together to get my own parenting style- I suppose it works a bit like homeschooling. No one style is the same. Anyway- love the story. Guess these kids are smarter than we give them credit for. 🙂 Hehe
Hi Lee,
So very true – we do put things together and work it out as we go!!!
I so need to get my hands on the Book – it sounds like a good read.
Cheers
Lisa
Hi Lisa,
I agree with Kerry – I don’t think you can ‘learn’ parenting out of a book. Our children as so individual – and so are parents!
Reading about other parent’s accounts can be a good thing though – it makes us realise that no parents are perfect. We just do the best we can – learning from our mistakes as we go.
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