A little while back I was asking on our Facebook Fanpage what everyone thought about me going to Sydney for the weekend because my oldest is having a big weekend with my two brothers! I call it “Night Clubbing” but I stand corrected….its now called “Clubbing”.
My Reasons Behind Wanting To Be There
I actually got told by my older son that I was too old for “Clubbing”! Gee thanks mate 🙂
But I totally understand what he is saying, and what he means. I don’t actually fancy a night out and about, dancing, smelly men, smell of smoke, drinking and partying hard in the cold night air. I much prefer to stay home with a good DVD, a great takeaway meal, a nice bottle of Red and my comfy bed to sleep in. So I have decided to stay in Mackay.
Yet My Heart Would Love To Be In Sydney.
I would love to be down there this weekend. I need to be down there. You see it’s a bit more different from any other kid turning 18. Our older son was born healthy but at day 4 he stopped breathing.
We were at home when it happened. I remember putting him in his brand new pram and putting his clothes away. Something told me to look on him. Not sure what or why. But a voice was whispering to turn around and see if he was ok.
Luckily for me I did. So very lucky for him.
Because he was blue. He was not breathing, and he was so floppy when I picked him up. I ran screaming, and gave him to a family member while I called for an ambulance. I can’t remember exactly what happened as it was a crazy blur – everything seemed to be happening in slow motion on one hand, yet it seemed like the ambulance was there with next to no time.
We ended up back and forwards to the hospital a couple of times that week. Then we were transferred to Sydney Childrens Hospital. Where he stayed for weeks, and weeks. They did every test under the sun, and then some more. Finally they did a sleep study test.
Turns out that he was born with Sleep Apnea. Which is one of the major causes of SIDS. Basically it’s where the baby goes to sleep, and their brain doesn’t remember to keep on breathing.
It can happen to any child up to the age of 2. And most cases parents are not aware that their child is experiencing stages of where they have stopped breathing.
All of us were taught C.P.R while we were still in the hospital. And we were given a machine that attached to our Son’s belly. It was a machine that would sound a huge alarm for when he stopped breathing.
It was not one of those machines where they have a mask, and it takes over the breathing for when a person is sleeping. It was a machine that would wake us parents up and then we would have to gently shake our older son or perform CPR.
We spent many nights woken to the alarm. Many trips to the Hospital. And finally at 11 months of age we had his last Sleep Study Test.
The kind nice doctor in the children’s Hospital in Sydney delivered some fantastic news to us parents! They conducted the last test with the knowledge that he would always have a touch of Sleep Apnea. He would never really out grow it. It was something that would be determined by his lifestyle.
They hand me my 11 months old child. Who is a Boy. And tell me:-
- He is never to get over weight (not possible as he loves sports!)
- He is never to smoke cigarettes as that will bring on the sleep apnea ten fold
- He is never to smoke other drugs!
- He is never to get drunk – because if he goes into a full on deep sleep he will likely NOT wake up 🙂
Gee thanks Mate.
So could have hit that Doctor that Day. There was no nice words with the news. No beating around the bush.
From a very early young age we have drilled into him what he had. What he is allowed to do, and what will affect him.
NOW he is 18. NOW he is living out of home. In another State. Under his own rules, and his own care. This weekend it’s up to him.
I have spoken at length with my two younger brothers – who are going to be with him.
They realise whats at stake here. But I am good with it. As I have told our older son – look have a few beers or whatever you want to drink. BUT make sure you eat heaps of food first. Drink lots of water. Dance hard and make sure you don’t drink close to bed time. It’s not that I am wanting him to drink – I would prefer him not to.
But he is a boy. He is 18 and now its up to him.
I have to let those apron strings go – and I have to trust that his guardian angel will be working double time this weekend coming up.
My heart is telling me to be there. Yet my head is telling me to let the trust be strong enough between all of my family.
David (being the hubby and Father) has an easy solution! He has told me to ring my brothers up and say this…..
“If you get our son drunk and attracted to drinking, then I will come down there and break an arm or two” !!! Of course he is kidding……at least I think he is?
Of course I havent told my brothers what hubby thinks! Of course I trust my brothers – they may be younger in years (there is a huge age difference between us) but they are smart young men.
They also love my older son and for me that is enough.
Will my decision be OK? Not sure. But I guess I will find out. I will have my mobile phone on me all weekend long, and I will be checking in with my Brothers/my older son. I also have joked around and said to expect a knock at the door…..cause it will be me checking up on them!
I have also reminded them that they are in a hotel, with their credit card details on file…..so they better be good or if they trash the room they will get the bill.
They are my reason behind wanting to be in Sydney this weekend. Were they good enough reasons? I think so but I have decided to be brave. And strong.
And am doing lots of “Positive Thinking”talks – along these lines….”IT will be OK” ,”IT will be OK” kinda talks to myself all week-long.
Boys Will Be Boys!
GEE please Guardian Angel look out for my son once again.
Cheers
Lisa
New Life on the Road
My heart goes out to you on this. Our kids are a long way from being out on their own, but I can already imagine how hard it is to let go. Especially when you’ve spent so many years being responsible for making sure he’s safe and well.
Have a wonderful weekend!
Micki recently posted..Why Travel With Kids Is Amazing
Hi Micki,
Its not easy letting go! But its something that I am learning that I have to do 🙂
Have a great week.
Cheers
Lisa