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Today Was The Day

Posted by on July 18, 2011

Our choices were made, and we had many to choose from! Over the last week I had to let my oldest Son make his own choices. We had many talks…..I was on my best behaviour – I did not cry or stop him from stating what he wanted to do. I listening and I agreed. It was time for our oldest to make his own choices/his own decisions and it was time to accept that he was ready to grow.

Today Was The Day

Today Was the day to say GoodbyeYesterday he went into town and brought his train ticket back to his mates house. He made the calls to his mate, and spoke to his mates parents. He asked me to speak for him, but I stated that this was his decision, and his choice so he needed to make the call. Maybe that was too hard of me, and maybe I should have spoken to the parents of where he is staying but for me to let him go, I needed to step back.

I needed to make the choice of not saying anything to the other family….actually I was not sure if I was able to speak on the phone without crying or saying something that I would later regret. That was the only way I was able to accept that Today Was The Day, and drive into town to say Goodbye. I know that in my heart he is going to be fine, and I know that he will be taken care of, but it was still a day that I wanted to happen a few years from now! Not today!

The Running Around

I never thought of what he would need for him to leave home. He needed his own Medicare Card, and a copy of his Birth Certificate, and also needed clothes for work. Tomorrow is his first shift back at the job that he had last year. He is over the moon, because they are training him to run the store, and he goes back to where he feels comfortable.

He likes to know people around him, and he needs to feel comfortable with the area he lives in! Gosh is he going to have to adjust when he is in the Navy! So the morning was a mad rush to get into town, as we had to leave home early. Even the breakfast dishes were waiting for us when we got back. While we were in town we went to Medicare, and shopping for clothes. We made it to the train station in time to check his bags in, and had about 10 minutes before the train pulled in. The fact that we did not have much time to sit around was probably a good thing – it meant that I did not have time to say no! I did not have time to ask him to stay….I had to accept that Today was the Day that our older son is now taking responsibility for his own life :)

Looking Back On His Childhood

He is over 17 years of age, and he is way taller then me, but the years have gown by far too quickly. I feel like I have not made all the right choices for him, and have taken him away from his high school and his friends when he was not ready. I feel like I never said how much I loved him enough. I feel like there was so many places around Australia that I so wished he had seen and I wont be able to show him. I feel like I wasted a lot of his growing years worried about silly things that don’t matter now. I feel like he is too young to be out there in the big wide world. But I have learnt in the last few weeks, that I need to trust. I need to trust that he is going to be OK. I need to trust that he is going to be happy. I need to trust that he is making the right choices. He is telling me, and I need to listen. Today Was The Day.

Cheers

Lisa

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20 Responses to Today Was The Day

  1. Jennifer Johnson

    Oh Lisa ~ trdf (tears rolling down face) when I read your post. It’s not an easy thing to do to let your children make their own way in life. As a mother you never really do let go entirely because your children are always your children no matter what their age!
    You have done remarkably well in listening to your son and trusting him to be able to make his own decisions.
    The training you and David have given and the example you have shown him will be with him wherever he goes (even in the Navy!) and I’m sure he will make the right choices in his life based on this.
    Our daughter left for the USA aged 20 ~ that was 13 years ago. In that time I have seen her only twice, but it is comforting to know that she has adhered to the principles instilled in her childhood.
    All you can do is pray and be there for your children no matter what (and kids need to know that they can come to you with ANYTHING and you will not be shocked but will help them). Being a parent to a child is all about communication and above everything else keep that line open for them.
    Really, there’s no right or wrong decision – only his decision which of course can be undecided again at any time………
    Thanks for sharing such an emotional time with us.
    Hugs & High 5!
    JJ

    • Lisa

      Thank you Jennifer – He is going to be fine, and I am so glad to know that we are not the only ones with the same feelings!! I knew this was coming, but I was not ready for it just yet :) If it had been a few years later down the track then I would be happier. Its funny – when they are little we look forward to them growin up. When they grow up, we wish they were small!

      Cheers
      Lisa

  2. Jackie Stenhouse

    What a rough day. I will be going through the same thing in a couple of months as my 17 yr old has told me he will be moving out when he finishes school. I can only hope that we as parents have taught them enough to succeed in their dreams. Don’t doubt yourself Lisa, you have done the best job you have known how to do as a mum and we have all made plenty of mistakes with our children especially with the first. I wish your oldest the very best in life and know that you have prepared him well.

    • Lisa

      Thanks Jackie – Time sure flys bye! I remember when they place in my arms for the very first time, and now he has left home! I have all of my fingers and toes crossed that he will be ok :)

      Gosh I didnt think your oldest was going to leave home? Will he be in the same area, or will he be moving locations?

      Cheers
      Lisa

  3. Kerry Lea

    Hi Lisa

    When things get tough it is normal to think we have not made the right choices for our children. The thing is they are all individuals and have their own ideas. My daughter moved out a few years ago for a short while. I was heart broken and have an idea how you feel. It will get easier and he knows he can always come home.

    • Lisa

      Thank you so much Kerry – its really good to know that we are not the only ones going through the same thing!

      Cheers
      Lisa

  4. happygirl

    You speak such truth. And, your situation is my DREAM situation. See, there is no perfect spot in life. I pray the best for your son. I’m a US Navy wife. My husband retired after 20 years in the Navy and it was a wonderful life. Wars and all. I’m grateful he’s out, but he’s old now. He flew jets and we had a great time moving every 2 or 3 years. We look back at those years as the best in our marriage. I pray your son has a good experience. <3

    • Lisa

      Thanks Happygirl for sharing your life! Gosh thats amazing that he was in the Navy for so long, and you had such a great time.

      Cheers
      Lisa

  5. Rita

    Oh Lisa,
    Your post took me back to My “Today was the day” day the one when I left my eldest and came to Brisbane, and reading your feelings I too had a tear or two running down my cheeks.
    I know your son will do you proud

    • Lisa

      Thank you Rita – I know in my heart that is going to be fine. Fingers are crossed that the Navy calls him soon and he has his appointment.

      Cheers
      Lisa

  6. Tara

    Boy Lisa! I feel very emotional reading all this! I can only imagine! what an exciting time for all though :-)

    • Lisa

      Thanks Tara – it was a good day in the end :) He is happy and he is working!

      Cheers
      Lisa

  7. Narelle

    Bigs hugs coming your way Lisa… “Today was the day” will soon be a happy memory of the day you set your beautiful son free to make his own choices, not easy for any mum…but as you look back on this day in years to come you will know that what you have done was right for him…You and David are wonderful parents…truly blessed with 5 great sons…Love and Blessings to you all. Narelle xox

    • Lisa

      Thank you Narelle – it was a mixed day. I had my younger son in my arms, as my older son sat on a train and waved goodbye. He is happy, and he is working. Which is what he really wants. I am doing well – better now that I know he will be ok.
      Thank you for your kind words – we are parents in training that is for sure!
      Cheers
      Lisa

  8. Jayne From Cheshire's Creations

    Hi Lisa
    How are you feeling now a couple of days on? Have you guys spoken at al? How is David and the rest of the family feeling? Such a hard week for you as a Mum!

    My eldest son is 10, growing up so fast – you just want to hold onto them and protect them forever! Much love your way!

    • Lisa

      Hello Jayne,

      I am doing ok! He rang and spoke to me Tuesday night, and we talked via facebook. He is doing really well, and has gone back to work full time, with good pay! He is happy, and I am getting used to the idea of him growing up :)

      Its a lot easier when they are in nappies, and need Mum/Dad for sleeping, eating and loving! Gosh the time goes by far too quick….keep giving your son hugs/and cuddles. Let him know how much he means to you, as I never did enough of that!

      Cheers
      Lisa

  9. Tania Shipman

    Lisa, it’s never easy to do what you did. Your faith in yourself and your son to let him make his own decisions was a fantastic read. I hope he is well and you are ok.

    • Lisa

      Hello Tania,

      Thanks for stopping by here and leaving your great comments! It was a decision that I wished we could have made a few years from now…but its been a good wake up call! I now realise that I need to spend more time with our other boys before they too leave home :)

      We are doing better every day – lucky I can speak with him on Facebook, and he can call home! Amazing how quick they grow up….I am sure you will agree with your son Marcus…one day they are little, the next day they are taller then me, and are ready for the world!

      Cheers
      Lisa

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