Today I got a call from my older son. As soon as he said Hello I knew in my heart that it wasnt going to be a good call. Actually he hadn’t called for a few days so I thought something was up.
And I was right. As he started to tell me what went on last night at the night club, and how much stuff he got mixed up in, I burst into tears and handed the phone to his Dad. David took over the call, wanting to know why his wife/his sons Mother was crying. And I am disappointed in myself.
GOSH – When Will I Ever Grow UP?
Why couldn’t I handle what he was telling me and answer his call without getting upset? Why can’t I just shut up and take it?
I so wish I was one of those people who are able to listen, take a deep breath, and reassure the person that all will be OK!
But as he was talking about the mess he got involved with – all I could think about was saying ~ ‘DAMN – you have worked so hard, don’t be a dickhead and blow it”
So what did he do last night? He met a girl, and got very close to the said girl, and soon found out she was hooked on speed. Big no-no when in the Defence Force.
Big no-no when you have sleep apnea as a baby and the doctor tells you never ever to take drugs as you wont wake up when you go to sleep.
I so was not able to say anything but lucky Dad was next to me, and he was able to take over the call.
A few minutes of “Dont be stupid”, “Dont get mixed up in that Shit” and “Remember drugs might wear off but AIDS, Sexual Transmitted Diseases Wont” – and a few moments of reassurance that he didn’t go that far!
He did do the right thing by saying he got well away from her as soon as he found out, and that he didn’t take anything! He did freak out by what Dad was telling him on the phone.
And I did calm down enough to ring him back tonight and have a good chat. All is good. But gee when will teenagers realise that their Mum’s can’t handle stuff like that – tell your Dad!
Looking Back To My Childhood
Gosh I am so sorry about what I put my Mum through – mind you I never got mixed in with a crowd of people taking drugs!
Please Please Please – baby stay safe. Here I was freaking out about the Forces. Don’t need anything else added to the mixture! Funny how we look back on our own childhood and see things differently. I did some crazy things in my early 20’s so I guess I too have a good guardian angel.
Wonder how many more grey hairs have now been added to my ever-growing collection?
When Will I Ever Grow UP? And learn to be cool with news from my kids? Guess I should be very grateful that he can tell us anything! I know that he will be growing up ok as he does have a lot of great friends/work mates looking out for him -at least I sure hope so.
What Does Your Kids Say That Makes You Pause?
Cheers
Lisa
New Life on the Road.
Hi Lisa, First of all you have raised him to be a great son. He rang you and told you all about it and he did not have to do that.
I myself am not good at handling news like that. My husband is the cool calm and collected type. I think the kids like that better.
But I personally think that it is because Mothers have so much emotion invested in their children and view them as their babies, that they cannot bear the thought of anything bad happening to them.
I believe, and I am possibly very wrong, but I believe that men are more detached emotionally and therefore can view things more rationally.
Try not to worry too much Lisa. Have some warm milk and honey. Jan
jan recently posted..Fantastic Friday
Hi Jan,
I think you are spot on ~ we do have too much emotion invested in our children! And hubbies are so much better at dealing with it all 🙂
I am so grateful that he could ring and tell us. That makes me so proud of him.
Sure is interesting times watching them grow up 🙂
Cheers
Lisa
I would be exactly the same Lisa xox
Big hugs , damn kids worry us even after they leave the nest.
Trish recently posted..Things I know …
Thanks Trish ~ Yeah they will always have my thoughts with them, and I will always be looking out for them. I used to tease them and say “You will always be my babies, even when you grow up and move out of home” ~ guess that is true!
So good that he can ring you and tell you about it. Hopefully he got a fright and will be more careful. Definately doing some growing up thats for sure.
Jackie Stenhouse recently posted..Heart Cookie Cutters
Hi Jackie,
Sure is! I was so scared because of his sleep apnea but once I spoke with him later that night I felt all good 🙂
Gee they sure like to gives a big fright/wake up call!
Cheers
Lisa
Wow – what stood out to me in this post is your obvious dislike for anyone involved with drug addiction. Compassion and love is in high demand for those who are so obviously lost to addiction. I must say that in all my years of youth dealing with sexual molestation and being shafted by shady people (none of whom were drug addicted – just so called respectable people) – many of the people who offered me friendship and love were drug addicted themselves. Yes I was also one of the drug addicted – but because of compassionate and loving people, I was able to become the person I am today. That part of my life was when I was a teen, today I am a mother to four and grandmother to 7 – now 45 years of age. Life is a trip – don’t get too picky about the roads – some of them will surprise you.
Your son was obviously trusting you enough to tell you what he could have hidden from you 🙂
Hi NewAgeGranny,
Actually its not that we have anything against anyone! Its that my son had sleep apnea as a baby and he cant take the risk. His pediatrician let me know when he was 10 months old that he would not wake up if he was to take drugs. The same with alcohol. He cant get into a deep sleep as he wont remember to keep breathing. Hence Alcohol and Drugs freak me out with him!
As well as the Defence Force. He is randomly tested by their doctors. Considerin he is only just 18 if they find Alcohol or drugs in his system then they will dismiss him. And he has worked so hard to be where he is. That was what I was sharing 🙂
Cheers
Lisa
My daughter was coming home from work the other night on the M1 (Gold Coast) and a stray tyre flung up and hit her car, did some damage but I couldn’t handle it. All I could think of was that I could have lost her. She’s only on her Green Ps and not nearly experienced enough.
Anyway after I had calmed down I gave her a hug and said thank God she’s a good driver.
So Lisa you’re not the only one and if it means you have to grow up to conceal your feelings I’m staying a child.
Your son like my daughter at least know you love them!
Teresa recently posted..The Weekend Homesteader
Hi Teresa,
That would have been so scary! So glad she is ok and was able to handle the car!
I do wish I could easily hug my son – but for now phone calls and facebook will have to do 🙂
We sure do love them – and yes thank God they both are looked after.
Cheers
Lisa
I think the fact that he said no and got away was awesome. He could so easily have slipped up, he’s only 18 and some 18 year olds can be irresponsible. And then to ring you and tell you! Wow! what a man you’ve got there.
Suzie recently posted..Earthquake? Bookalanche?
Thanks for the great reminder Suzie! Yeah he is a great young man ~ and very brave for letting us know what went down 🙂
I am very impressed with your son. I hope that my children will feel comfortable calling us even when they have news that is sure to upset us. I think that says something about the strength of your relationship as well as your parenting. No matter what, he knew who to call when things got rough.
Good job Lisa!
Amy recently posted..Parenting the Living Goddess: Am I Creating a Monster?
Thanks Amy ~ he is doing so well. And we are so very proud of him, and like you say we are very lucky that he felt like he could call us no matter the situation. Now he is out at Sea so we are hoping all is good!
I think that the oldest child in a family is always a learning curve for us and for them. They teach us how to be better parents for our younger children!